Jonah Hex: Well, at least the costumes look good!

In spite of all the hype surrounding DC Comics’ most recent comic book franchise to make the jump to the big screen, Jonah Hex was a box office bomb. The film came in at #8 this weekend, which is pretty bad considering how heavily promoted the film was. It came in behind movies that had already been hanging around movie theatres for quite some time. Coming in at #1, however, was “Toy Story 3,” which received a warm welcome back from theatre goers.

So, was “Jonah Hex” really as bad as critics said it was? YES!!! I really wanted to like this movie. Really. I did. I’m an admitted comic book nerd and loved the idea that DC was making a film based on one of the more obscure, cult titles in their arsenal. However, my inner comic book nerd was sorely disappointed when I saw the steaming pile of suck that ended up passing as the “Jonah Hex” film.

I think it was worse than “Ghost Rider.” I’m only saying I “think” it was because I tried to block out the memory of that particular film. However, it wasn’t as bad as the abomination known as “Superman Returns.” Okay, maybe it was, but considering Superman is a much bigger franchise than “Jonah Hex” and the colossal level of effort it took to screw up said Superman franchise, I’m going to say it stunk worse than “Jonah Hex.”

So, what was wrong with it? What WASN’T wrong with it!!! For starters, the film was disjointed. It was like Sybil forgot to take her meds and multiple personalities started writing “Jonah Hex.” It wanted to be a Western, the it wanted to be a supernatural thriller, then it tried (miserably) to be funny, then it attempted to be a gritty revenge tale (with a PG-13 rating, no less). The film tampered with the origin of Hex, perhaps in an attempt to give him depth and a motive — but it didn’t really accomplish anything. The film didn’t know whether it wanted to take things seriously or come off as a joke and some of the characters seemed like afterthoughts to some poorly and haphazardly inserted action scenes. Despite having some big names and quality actors on its roster (Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, etc.), nearly everyone involved with Jonah Hex phoned it in. You’d probably see more impassioned acting in an elementary school production of “Frosty the Snowman.” Really.

The bright spot in the film, however, were the costumes and makeup. The Wild West setting naturally makes for some cool clothes. The film’s makeup artist did a solid job with Hex’s disfigured visage. And actually, come Halloween (or ComicCon, if you still have some love left for ol’ Jonah and want to do right by him) if you dare show your face as Hex, you can recreate his look with official Jonah Hex makeup kits that will allow you to do a pretty good replication of his heavy facial scars.

While he was an uber-douche in the film, a Quentin Turnbull costume would definitely look cool. He’s got the hat, the hair, the long cowboy duster, and a completely bad ass silver-topped cane. Officially licensed replicas of the character’s cane and film look are also available.

Ladies have the option of transforming themselves into Megan Fox (go on… Make your best pouty face!) with the Lilah costume in either white or red. You can pick up a matching Lilah wig to get the gun-slinging saloon girl/prostitute’s dark tresses.

Even if though the movie sucked, the Jonah Hex costumes and makeup are still cool!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *