Being Perez Hilton

Spray your hair pink, blue, or any other color befitting a true Queen of All Media… Actually, why not wear a crown with that epithet, too! Put on an argyle sweater in pastel shades and loudly proclaim your love for Lady Gaga! Carry around a few pics of your fave — or least fave — celebs adorned with MS Paint doodled penises, pills, and other assorted humiliating scribblings.

Dodge lawsuits and punches on your way to the snack table at your party. Particularly if you feel the urge to walk around, outting your fellow guests, whether or not they swing one way or another. Tell it like it is and look fierce doing it, honey!

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